There is no word for the "loneliness" that comes
from knowing I can’t do better, and all there is,
is only the company of misery.
I pray that things will get better to impress God,
but God’s words are "eternal love." God’s words
for his loneliness in wanting me is as eternally
puzzling as an old man with a toy he does not
know what to "keep" about it. Such "loneliness"
is the kind of loneliness I feel sometimes.
Maybe, just saying the word over and over
and over until it "means" something will work.
I know loneliness because I have said it enough
times to myself. But do You understand all this?