Talkative, but not talking;
Competitive, but not competing;
Unique, but indifferent;
Productive, but not producing;
Strong, but lacking strength;
Looking, but not seeing;
An introverted extrovert;
Assertive, but not asserting;
Creative, but not creating;
An achiever not achieving;
Thought-filled, but speechless;
Not a veteran, but battle weary;
Listening, but not hearing;
Tired, but not sleeping;
An optimist turned pessimist;
In a stupor, but not stupid;
Alone in a crowd;
A person without personality;
A participant, but not participating;
Hungry with no appetite;
Day after eternal day...
Imprisoned with no crime;
Hopeless, yet hopeful;
A heart incapable of emotion;
Alive, but not living.

O doctor, I come to you in quiet desperation;

Session, after session, after session...

You provide little relief, but any is worthwhile;

There is sympathy in your words, but no

empathy in your heart;

You know, but do not understand;

You watch near powerless as my face grows

narrow, my skin pale, my eyes lifeless, my

voice fragile, my body scant, my thoughts

incoherent, my mind stagnant;

Can you hear my silent screams?

I wish you could do more, but you are only

human.

O medication, technology's answer, can't you

do something more?

I wish your relief was as magnificent as your

colors;

You provide little help, but any is worthwhile;

I am with you, and you with me; day after day,

week after week, month after month...

You have become part of my being.

O tempting Death, I fear You not;

I embrace You, we are almost one;

For you are Death itself, and I am living dead;

just a breath away;

I have been living in the valley of Your shadow, I

am not afraid;

I envy You, Everlasting Peace, how nice that

must be;

But Death, you are too easy;

You create more problems than you solve;

What of shaming my family, my friends, my

forefathers, my God?

I know You are ready for me, but I am not ready

for You;

I wish I could get thoughts of you off my mind.

O Master Depression, my cross to bear, you are

a mighty beast indeed; but I, a worthy adversary;

I respect your disrespect for me;

You may have me defeated, but I am far from

conquered;

Just as modest David struck down the leviathan

Goliath; I, too, shall render you powerless;

You may have escaped Pandora's Box, but Hope

will always remain;

My arsenal of: the unbounded love of my family,

my doctor's counsel, mutual support, and un-

relenting perseverence will break your evil grip;

You are of this earth and fleeting; my mind is

infinite; the human spirit invincible;

I live in joyful anticipation of the day, when you

are nothing more than an unpleasant memory;

I must always remember that it is darkest before

the dawn;

Ultimately I know, I will be a stronger person for

having braved your terrible storm.